try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
