Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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