Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
