Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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