I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
