Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
