I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
