Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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