The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
