if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
