just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
