what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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