Just cropdusted the office
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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