He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
