Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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