Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
