You're a womanizer and a bitch.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
