Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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