Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
