I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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