If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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