Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
