were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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