Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
