So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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