it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just high enough for therapy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
