its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drake has all the answers
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
