Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize