I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
