i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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