just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
