wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
