Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
