His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
