Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
