I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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