your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
