can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
