"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
