i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
