My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
