yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
