It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
