Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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