I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
