Acid is not a monday night drug
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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