So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
