i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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