Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
