after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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