I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
