in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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