dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Rumble strips road head = magical
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
