That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
