My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
