I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yo dont text me then not text me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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