I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
