Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
