are you so shy because you have an std?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
