i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
