just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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