I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize