Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
