I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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