Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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