how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
