I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize