How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
