The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize