pedialite and red bull = repair kit
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
