It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
